Me And My Facinating Life

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 07:07:24 GMT

I have no time for life. Period.

I haven't posted on here in a very long time

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 00:12:09 GMT

And yet I still don't feel like saying much here.

I have no life

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 16:27:08 GMT

The end.

Why is the blue dude crying because it is bored? Seems an odd match of action to emotion.

.....

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 14:06:26 GMT

Rumors suck.

Even when they're true.

All the answers to all the questions

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 22:20:28 GMT

I finally know the whole story--the final word.

The game is over. There's no ambiguity to play at any more--or hide behind.

And somehow...somehow, I haven't died from the knowledge. Yet.

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 21:04:41 GMT

It's such a great story.

But I can't figure out who I could possibly tell it to who wouldn't judge me horribly for it.

Somehow, somewhere along the line, I got lost in this game. And now I don't know what I'm playing for anymore.

To annoy/bother: Fastidiar/molestar

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 22:49:00 GMT

So Sr. Davis's question for that one was, "What annoys Erin the most?"

Rebecca answers Pride and Prejudice.

Sr Davis answer was "Everything".

Beautiful.

I love how I made it as a freaking question in the spanish review we did today. Pretty cool....yeah.

In some ways I'm sad today is the last day of classes, since I won't be seeing my friends for a while... However, I hate school and classes, so on that account I'm not sorry. Oh, yes, and the rumors that are flying about me are getting pretty tiring, and I'm sick of some of my friends treating me really oddly and occasionally dropping a snide comment (which I have yet to figure out if they know that I know perfectly well what they're commenting on). I'm hoping, come fall, they might grow up just a little.

Now what do I do with my life?

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 20:37:44 GMT

Another rare entry for Erin...

Ahhhhh.

I'm freaking upset.

Don't ask why, because its a really messed up reason.

But I just lost...like...my life. I finished something I've been working on for 6 months and yeah. It kinda feels really weird. To have been working on something for that long, and then suddenly its done.

....

I'm done.

I can't believe it.

....

Not that this should come as any surprise to anyone...

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 23:44:50 GMT

So...just randomly (because I thought it was pretty funny)...I took a Pessimism quiz yesterday at lunch. Take your guesses now as to what my score was...

The scoring system was something like:
above 10: very optimistic
7-9: optimistic
4-6: middle of the road
1-3: quite pessimistic
0 and below: very pessimistic.

Alright. What do you think I scored?

...............................
...............................
...............................
...............................
...............................
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...............................

I got a -11.

Yeah.

I'm way down there! :D

Apparently, the last time I posted a public entry here was Dec 27th

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 01:14:32 GMT

Clearly, I've been oh so missed.

There is nothing really for me to say here, and there hasn't been for a long time. There's something really stupid that's been kinda annoying me, but I can't really bring myself to post about it (aside from private posts) just because it is SO STUPID.

My life is stupid.

I wish I could just skip this week--and skip right to vacation.

I have a essay due tomorrow in fucking Spanish about politics. And yeah, so far, I'm about 1/4 of the way down the page--it's supposed to be a page, double spaced. Short, yes, but I'm struggling tremendously as to what I should write.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

My life is so pathetic

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 04:56:54 GMT

I'm not going to go into the reasons why.

But it is.

The Worst Has Ended

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 01:43:12 GMT

Tomorrow I've got nothing. Yes, school. But none of this ridiculous frantic make-up an English essay that totally isn't even accurate based on the books we read (I'm kinda hoping for creativity points--and not an F because I made up my evidence for my thesis...), or a hectic two day APUSH test.

That class. I just can't even find words for it.

Actually, I think the best description of that class I heard, was from Jess today.

"Yeah, I heard seniors talking about how its a great class and all, but afterward, you never want to hear the words "Us History" again."

Pretty accurate. I know, by the end of the year, I will never want to hear those words again.

dsfnjksndfjdnsafjkndskjnfjknskjfnjksdndf.

That class is just such a killer. Do not even try to compare what you are in. Because it doesn't compare. Ever. And it never will (until you get to college)

snjlkdsfnhjlsdnfjlkdsnfjkdsnfjksdnfjkdnskjfnsjkdfn.

But its over now. *big breath*

Well, at least for now.

MY little blue emotion-dude doesn't look like he's relieved... Actually, he looks kinda pissed off--and worried at the same time.

APUSH me off a cliff!

No. I'm not going to talk about that class anymore.

Something to say about Nothing

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 02:15:18 GMT

I'm in rather the same mood as when I posted my ridiculous endless dots. Though highly entertaining (because I'm so psychotic, I laughed through the ENTIRE thing...) I'm not about to do it again, since it made scrolling down to see comments quasi-impossible, since my computer kept freezing up on me.

Then again, I'm not surprised.

So instead, there's this entry. So lovely--about nothing.

Because there's nothing for me to say.

I've got a stupid in class english essay next week, and I'm got an even stupider, fucking TWO DAY Steege test. That class really kills me. Alot.

A fun weekend ahead for me--involving tons of work that I should be doing--and me trying to find numerous creative ways to avoid it, since I don't have anything at all actually planned for the weekend. (Driver's Ed is over...not that I'm particularly sorry about that, though...)

It still gave me 3 hours of time wasted and made doing no homework on Saturday a much easier task.

Still, I've got to ask: why am I working so hard just to avoid the work, when it'd be probably easier to just do it...

I can't believe I've written this much about absolutely nothing in this entry.

......................................................

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 21:15:35 GMT

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Does no one post on LJ anymore?

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 23:12:58 GMT

I'm not entirely sure why, but no one seems to be posting here as much as they used to. Whether its winter-blues, or just outgrowing rambling about life on the internet, or everyone's life is just exceedingly boring right now (like mine)...I don't know.

I do know that its screwing up my ability to use reading peoples' entries as a procrastination tool.

Mind you, I myself haven't posted in a few weeks now, so I probably shouldn't be talking.

Anyway. I don't really have much to say. As I said above, my life is really quite boring right now. I've got nothing to talk about.

Oh yes, I've got so much to be thankful for....

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 01:18:36 GMT

For anyone unsure, that was complete and utter sarcasm.

I hate my family. I hate my sickness. In the end, I rather hate myself.

Thanksgiving has made me terribly bitter. I'm getting dragged off to New Jersey to celebrate a damn holiday I don't even believe in. There is nothing I'm thankful for--and if anything, the best thing for me is anyone who treats me half-way decently (meaning friends). Shouldn't I then be celebrating the holiday with them instead of celebrating with what I'm LEAST thankful for?

I don't know.

Maybe there is just something wrong with my head like my parents keep telling me.

I guess I don't know. I don't know anything anymore, really, and I have finally given up trying. I'll just continue my stumbling through the fog in hopes that one day I stumble into a clearing.

I kinda felt like posting something...

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 01:43:32 GMT

But I've got nothing to say really.

Listening to everyone talking about the musical last night got a little annoying after a while. I think it would have been more annoying if I'd tried out and not made it. Though not trying out has been a bit difficult, in the end, I survived, and it'll only get better as I get more used to it. Yeah. I'm pretty much giving up performing--for the most part. I'm still going to my dance classes, still going to be in chorus...but no more PC certainly.

Of course, I never fit in there anyway. Not shown in a better example than last night at Cabaret where that whole crew was dancing and Alexis and I just sat on the counter and watched and kinda looked at each other and raised our eyebrows.

The main question, though, still does remain. I'm not an athlete. I'm not a performer. I'm not an intellectual. So exactly what am I?

For the record....

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 19:44:16 GMT

I'd just like to quickly qualify something.

In case anyone read that incredibly long description of Cabaret and decided I was very bitchy and self absorbed in that I was insulting those acts or something, I'd just like to say that I wasn't at all saying I am better--or could do better. I was only stating my opinions on the acts.

Its what critics do--complain about how bad something was--but they probably can't do better. (they're critics, after all, not actors, writers, directors or whatever they're criticizing...)

And I am SO tired from Cabaret last night. (well, that combined with my sickness that makes me tired all the time anyway) I really hope to try to leave early tonight--like soon after Concert Choir sings maybe.

At least I'll only have to survive two days of school this week...

A survey no one will actually fill out....

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 00:32:09 GMT

Am I a pessimist? Hell yes. Fill it in if you want to, but I won't hate you if you don't. I just tried it (not about myself, of course, I'm not skitzo or something)--it takes a while and gets a little difficult...

Four things you wonder about me
1.
2.
3.
4.

Three things you like about me
1.
2.
3.

Two things you don't like about me
1.
2.

My best feature
1.

Two things you want to do with me
1.
2.

One word that describes me
1.

One question for me
1.

.....

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 01:58:33 GMT

Don't mind my amazingly odd entries I keep posting. I think I'm going slightly insane or something.

I'm just so frustrated with everything right now.

I cannot keep living my life this way...

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 22:40:43 GMT

One day, I know I'll break and unleash something horrible.

I hate my parents so much.

There's so much I've repressed over the years.

Whatever happens isn't going to be pretty.

I'm really not in the mood to do homework right now...

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 22:29:23 GMT

And none of its really due tomorrow...but I really should be starting it so that I'm not overwhelmed tomorrow and Wednesday.

No school Friday.

It's pretty odd, because I kinda want to actually do something this weekend, instead of my typical sit around the house routine. Maybe I've been subliminally affected by that stupid game last night which I hadn't done anything in.

Of course, I never know what to do...except go to movies. Is there even anything good out? I've got this feeling there isn't. I suppose I could go waste 7 bucks and see Grudge 2 if I wanted something scary--or well, something that's supposed to be scary anyway.

Not to mention that my parents are away for the weekend, so my grandparents are staying with me and my brother. And nothing against my grandparents, but they can get a little bit annoying after a while because they don't stop talking.

...

I'll think of something.

Or maybe I won't. That's more like my life

...

I'm so frustrated right now--and I feel like a fate-type supernatural force out there is mocking me and immensely enjoying watching my struggle to build a world for myself, and then something happen that just rips it down--and I've got to try again. Things I've always considered constants in my life are shaking.

Coming up most quickly is the musical auditions. I'm sick. I don't understand how I can possibly attempt auditions--because if I actually made it--I don't know what would happen to me and rehersals and my already fragily structured life. Not that I'm expecting to make it, but I just can't audition the way I am now.

Maybe I aught to change one of my constant rules in my life to be: The world is out to get me, so if I think one thing, something directly contradicting or exactly what I don't want will happen.

As the term closes...

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 20:12:07 GMT

As always, the teachers just dump work on you. However, though the term closes next week, the work dump actually seems to be this week.

It turns out my English project is indeed due Wednesday--thanks forever to Ms. Reynolds. If it was due tomorrow, I'd be pretty fucked, since I've got a Steege test tomorrow. Yeah, AP History--the class in which I need a 90 on the next test to get a 80 for the term. We've got nothing but tests in that class--no homework grades or anything to save our averages. And the chances of me getting a 90 is like 1:10000000000000000 odds. Meaning probably not going to happen. I've heard rumors Steege scales term grades by like 5 points. I need it to be at least 3 to get an 80--but I'm really hoping he does.

And I still need to do that English write-up, but I think I'm doing it tomorrow. Help, anyone? Please? (don't worry, I'm not really expecting anyone's help here--its more of a rhetorical question)

My amazing English explanation

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 00:48:51 GMT

So...my explanation that I wrote out...just posting it so you can all laugh, because it's pretty hilariously bad. Go ahead and laugh. You won't insult me, I promise.

"To start, I chose my ordinary to be a bend ordinary because then bend ordinaries stand for defense or protection. I tend to believe defense to be better than offense, because offense is often just unwarranted aggression. Defense, however, is necessary to survival.
I chose my colors—blue, black and orange—for values as well. Blue for truth and loyalty—as I really hate to flat out lie, and loyalty because betrayal is unjust. I chose orange, because, although I believe in ambition, I believe there’s good ambition and bad ambition—and bad ambition is well, bad. I chose black because, although constancy can be nice—I felt that one color I picked had to symbolize my actual life and not simply my ideals. (even though this might be against the project rules…) And yeah, my life is pretty constant—most of the time there are no surprises for me—and there’s occasional grief."

And there, I stopped, laughed at it, and decided I'll be redoing it--tomorrow. I'm not usually that bad a writer. (I wouldn't say I'm amazing, but I'm not that bad--in case anyone was wondering how I'm in Honors English if I write like that) I've really got no idea what the hell I'm supposed to write--as its pretty clear from that pathetic attempt. But how do you explain what you value anyway?

In the mean time, I think I'll return to drawing ugly little pictures on my shield...

Not sure why I'm posting this, I just am...

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 23:01:16 GMT

Actually, I think I'm doing this to procrastinate.

So, I've got this english project to do that involves making a shield that symbolizes you and your values--or something like that. I'm actually a bit confused, but I'll figure something out.

Point is (actually, there's not really a point here, just me rambling and procrastinating) my teacher's AE class already did the project and I got to see various of the shields around the room. And, of course, at least half of them had doves on them--doves symbolizing peace.

And yeah, my symbols I picked were kinda nothing like that. I've got a phoenix (symbolizing ressurection--though I don't think in a Christian sense--if it is in some Christian sense I'll be changing it), a sceptre (for justice), a sphinx (symbolizing ominescence and secrecy) and spear heads (symbolizing penetrating wit or something like that). And for colors, I've got black (contancy and grief), orange (worthy ambition) and blue (loyalty and truth). So basically, in short, I decided that for the most part, my values are pretty fucked up. (excepting the blue and sceptre and maybe the spear heads) I think the worst has got to be the sphinx--and I can't even begin to explain (and have anyone understand) why I picked it.

Of course, part of the project is a written explanation of what you picked and why--and there was also a vague mention of having to present in front of the class. I don't really want to change them to seem less messed up and lie (see, I value truth)--but I can't do a very good job explaining most of the ones I did choose (here's the best explanation as to why I chose secrecy).

And, as I write all this, most of what I picked is falling into place as to why I picked it--but if I actually go into full depths explaining, I really think I will frighten my english teacher just a bit--and I'm not that interested in looking like a super fucked up kid.